I had an awful night last night. It’s even hard for me to write about it, but I feel like I have to. If I don’t write about it, I’m going to explode.
This upcoming weekend our town has its’ annual fair and rodeo. There is also a ten year high school reunion going on. Because of this reunion, Truck Driver Burt and I have friends that are visiting. They’re actually not staying with us but with his parents. They live about 6 hours from us so every time they’re in town, we like to spend some time with them. I actually went to high school with the guy and really enjoy his wife. This couple is definitely some of our closest friends.
Last night, Truck Driver Burt and I went over to the guy’s parents’ house for dinner and visiting. As soon as we walk in the door, the guy is telling me how fat and big I am. Some of the quotes from last night:
“Holy shit. I can’t believe how big you are.”
“Are you sure you can make it through the doorway?”
“You have GOT to be having twins.”
“Your gut is huge.”
His wife was mortified and kept telling him to be quiet. In the meantime, my husband just ignored it and left me alone to defend myself. Really nice, huh? This guy NEVER EVER EVER said anything else to me that didn’t involve my weight somehow. This went on for about 3 hours. The last straw was when I told Truck Driver Burt I didn’t feel good and I was ready to leave. As soon as I said that, this douche said, “Yeah. You’re looking a lot bigger and bloated since you got here.” I absolutely lost it. I was screaming at the top of my lungs in this guy’s face. Dropping f-bombs left and right. Before I knew what I was doing, I backhanded this guy as hard as I could in his mouth. Truck Driver Burt was talking to this guy’s dad and missed the whole thing. How convenient, right?
I’ve always been very defensive about my weight, and to be perfectly honest, I even struggled with anorexia in college. I can say that I am very healthy now. I eat right, and I’m usually very active. Also, in my defense, I may have a belly, but I’m a size 6. Some of you may feel like it’s unnecessary for me to declare my pant size for the entire world to see, but it makes me feel better. There are just some things that you don’t say to me. I also feel like there are some things that a real man would never say to a woman.
Today, I briefly talked to Truck Driver Burt about what happened last night. As soon as I talked to Truck Driver Burt, I get a call from this piece of shit. I let it go to voicemail… obviously. Later on I checked my messages, and I have to say, he left the MOST insincere apology I’ve ever heard. I could actually hear and feel this guy sighing and rolling his eyes. It was awful.
This guy and I have always had an arguing back and forth, witty banter kind of relationship which I quite enjoyed. To tell the truth, we even dated in high school. Nothing serious, of course. How’s that for a blast from the past? He thinks he was being funny and cute. I’m sure he thinks I’m just being a basket case and a nut job which makes me feel even worse about myself.
Today has been very hard for me. I’m very upset and weepy… on top of being hormonal and having morning sickness. I cry a lot. Most of all though, I’m just pissed. I’m pissed that such an old and close friend would think it alright to treat me like that. I’m pissed that Truck Driver Burt never said a fucking word. I’m pissed at myself for getting violent. I’m pissed that I will never look at this guy the same way. I’m pissed that I’ll never be able to forgive him.
I told Truck Driver Burt that I was done with this guy. I told him that I never wanted to hang out with him again, and that really upsets me. If I ever hung out with this guy again, I’d be terrified and on edge about what he was going to say to me. I’d always be ready for a fight and wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself. I really really valued this couple’s friendship, and now it is ruined. I know me, and I know that I’ll never be able to forgive this guy for treating me like that while I was pregnant with my first child. This guy succeeded in making me feel worthless, less than nothing, lazy, crazy, and unhealthy. I resent Truck Driver Burt for not sticking up for me. I’m very sad that I lost a girlfriend since I don’t have that many. And, I’m so angry that someone very close to be treated me like garbage. Where do we all go from here? – The Infertile Housewife
Dont beat yourself up for hitting the guy. Pregnant hormones are the worst. I once threw a fork at DH when I was pissed about something much less egregious! This guy was totally out of line. I mean, tell a woman she has a beautiful pregnant belly but commenting constantly is ridiculous. I’m sorry this happened.
I’m sorry that you had to go through that, that guy sounds like a complete ahole – who the crap says stuff like that?!? I don’t blame you for being peeved at your husband, he should have said something. But regardless the guy should have never put any of you in that position. It sucks that you will lose a female friend over it but it’s not worth the worry of humiliation in my opinion.
Ok – first of all don’t EVER feel bad for standing up for yourself. In any situation, no man should talk about your weight, especially when you are pregnant. And for anyone that knows a woman that has gone through infertility, they should know what a sensitive subject it is. You did nothing wrong! I’m sorry DH didn’t stand up for you, but sometimes I think men just freeze up because they don’t know what to do. So sorry you had to go through that!